I think that most of my frustration with God has been because I am trying to create the God I want and not worshipping the God who is. I have a version of life that I desire and that I am convinced is the best way for life to go (at least for me, I don’t really think about what other people may want). And, as a “good Christian” I want to make sure that it aligns with the bible and my prayers, so I find ways to have the scriptures read appropriately and I pray in ways that appear to be God honouring as I work to manipulate God into acting in the “right ways”.

I’ve recently been reflecting on the scriptures leading up to Jesus’ death. Each day I’ve been guided to sit in silence for 30 minutes after reading a section and allowing it to shape me. 

In my thoughts, I sit on a dirt mound near the three crosses and watch what is taking place. The soldiers are simply doing their job, one more person to crucify. Gambling for Jesus’ clothing, laughing, mocking. In their world, Jesus was a nobody. Perhaps they had heard him teach here and there, but he was nothing to pay attention to. 

Some people walk by, mocking Jesus as they pass. Many of them had most likely heard Jesus teach, perhaps a friend of theirs had been healed. They had enjoyed the parade into Jerusalem a few days prior, but now Jesus hung on a cross, no more use for them. Disappointed that he wasn’t all they wanted him to be.

Two “revolutionaries” are hung on either side of Jesus. They also mock him. This wouldn’t be the day that this great man saved himself and them with him.

The religious leaders gleefully mock Jesus. Thankfully for them, Jesus wasn’t what he said he was. They had lost so much honour the past three years as Jesus consistently revealed their lack of depth and understanding of God. They were glad to be getting their honour back, being on top once again. This is how the world should work in their eyes.

Many women are standing by and watching, sadness in their eyes, a pain in their hearts. Perhaps still hoping Jesus would come through, not giving up hope, grateful for the years spent with him, yet disappointed in this outcome.

Nowhere to be seen are the many disciples – the twelve plus many others who were with Jesus over the past three years. They had no idea what to do now.

Jesus wasn’t what anyone thought he was, should be or needed him to be from their perspective. He was such a disappointment.

In all of this, I was forced to think about the God I am following. The God who is, or the God that I have designed to suit my purposes?

And as I come alongside others to guide them in their faith journey, how am I representing the God who I am calling them to follow? Am I creating the God I want, or am I following the God who is? Am I sitting in the discomfort of the life the Spirit so often will call me into? Because it is not about my kingdom but God’s Kingdom? Am I disappointed with God, or living in “the fear of the Lord” which is the beginning of wisdom?

For the Kingdom.

I feel like this is the most basic of topics to write about in a blog on discipleship and leadership. Scan through my other blog posts and you’ll find other things I’ve written about and around this topic. 

Yet in the past month, I have had more conversations with people around this that I felt the prompt to write the same things over again.

Question: Do you have good rhythms of faith? 

Now I recognize that we need good rhythms in all aspects of life – physical, emotional, marital, friendship, eating, etc. And in reality, everything should be seen as spiritual and faith focused. But I think you know what I mean when I use the term rhythms of faith.

I preached about this yesterday at a church in Lithuania where my wife and I are currently serving for two months. I spoke of the key areas of scripture, prayer and community as part of our regular faith rhythms.

As a refresher, here is a list of spiritual rhythms / disciplines from Richard Foster.

1. The inward disciplines

Meditation – Prayer – Fasting – Study

2. The outward disciplines (inward realities resulting in outward lifestyles) 

Simplicity – Solitude – Submission – Service

3. The corporate disciplines

Confession – Worship – Guidance – Celebration

He will also refer to these in two categories – disciplines of abstinence and of engagement.

Interestingly, there is also a resurgence in writing about this, particularly regarding solitude and silence, in religious writings, particularly in Protestant circles that I hang out in. I have listened to many podcasts with these writers and I’m grateful for their contribution through writing. Yet in listening to them, from what I am hearing, they often sound defeated, as though the beauty of this continues to elude them, even as they talk and write about it.

And beyond this, secular writers are talking about rhythms of life. Perhaps not about faith per se, but balance of life, mental health, finding solace. It all sounds like finding peace on the inside, faith. But in North America at least, people have less and less peace. It seems we like talking about it but no one wants to do anything about it.

So why are we, who claim Christ as the centre of our lives, not living lives that demonstrate how much in love we are with our Saviour, the God of all creation? Why is everything else more important? Why do we allow society, our friends, our work responsibilities, and social media posts, to disciple us more than we turn to the one who gives us his Spirit and all power? Jesus said the his yoke was easy and his burden was light.

I’ve quoted these before but I’ll quote them again

“Most people don’t live their lives, they simply accept their lives.”

“We have uphill aspirations and downhill habits.”

When will we decide to make the main thing the main thing? Why do we allow everything else in our lives to take priority?

You can’t have a relationship with someone you don’t spend time with, talking to, listening to, learning about. Yet we seem to adjust our lives to make room for everything else but our relationship with God. Why is this the case?

Beware that in your plenty you do not forget the Lord your God and disobey his commands, regulations, and decrees that I am giving you today. For when you have become full and prosperous and have built fine homes to live in, and when your flocks and herds have become very large and your silver and gold have multiplied along with everything else, be careful! Do not become proud at that time and forget the Lord your God, who rescued you from slavery in the land of Egypt. Deuteronomy 8

But I have this complaint against you. You don’t love me or each other as you did at first! Revelation 2

From the beginning of the bible to the end, nothing seems to change. For many, God is something we have “on the side.” Glad he’s there when I need him. And, he’d better come through when I call on him in times of trouble or I’ll complain that he doesn’t love me. I’ll deconstruct my faith and tell everyone about it. I’ll even blame “the church” for God not being there for me.

Does this sound like a rant? Perhaps. We declare what we truly believe and what is important to us by the time we spend. And let me be clear – the goal is not to checkbox rhythms of faith. The rhythms are always a means to an end. Just like buying my wife flowers, taking her out for dinner – these are not the goal. The desire is a deep and meaningful relationship with my wife. The same can be said for meaningful friendships or parent/child relationships.

So, I will ask again? Do you have good rhythms of faith? And if your answer is no, but I’ll start next week, then you’ll never start. You’ll spend the next 30 years talking about “next week”. 

God, who created you, created you out of love. He reaches out to enjoy you and for you to enjoy him. Next week? How about now?

For the kingdom.