If you have experienced being in and/or leading a triad of people on a journey of discipleship, you realize that, on most occasions, you and those that you meet with are growing in a way that I refer to as “an inch a day.” You meet regularly, you engage in scripture, you share about your lives, you pray, and you trust God that you will grow. Most weeks you are glad that you met. You have gotten to know the two you meet with a bit more, and you could say that you understand God in a deeper way. That’s all. Nothing grandiose, just steady growth – and that is good. That is how growth typically happens.

And then there are those moments of growth that go POP! When you leave your weekly connection and you realize that something amazing is happening. You want to bottle it up as it feels like things are clicking in new ways. And yet, getting to that experience can take many forms, and sometimes, what leads up to this is actually very painful.

Such has been the case recently with my guys. There have been some life struggles that have led to deep prayer and frustration. There have been questions about how God is, or is not, showing up. In the midst of this, there has been transparency and blunt conversations as we have challenged each other, in particular one individual. At times we wondered if we were crossing a boundary of trust, wondering if we pushed too hard, and would this damage our relationships. And yet, deep down, you know that you’ve been doing the hard work of friendship building, that you only have the other guy’s best interests at heart and believe that they feel the same about you.

And then it happens, the POP! You meet and engage in a conversation that opens the flood gates. You sense that the seemingly difficult conversations have not been for naught. That something beautiful is being birthed right before your eyes and you are truly thankful that you can be a part of it. You leave your meeting that week with a new bounce in your step, with renewed hope that this works. That if you stick with the process, and commit to the disciplines, and do the hard work of friendship building, then God shows up. Not how you were expecting him to, not when you were expecting him to, but he shows up. Growth is taking place, in all of you.

Have you ever experienced this? Have you had the privilege of walking “through the swamp” with someone, not knowing where the end was, and coming out the other side being “surprised by joy”? Or have you chosen to stay shallow, to not engage in the difficult conversations, to let someone off the hook, and to play it safe? Are you doing the hard work of relationship building?

I am choosing more and more to enter into these conversations. I don’t always do them perfectly, I am learning more each one I enter into. There is always fear at the start, but I am always so grateful that I took the risk.

For those that you meet with, what are you modelling? Are you allowing for the tough conversations? Are you building trust? You may have some swamps to walk through, and yet, to experience the POP – there is so much joy in that.

May this be your reality as you lead others. May our discipleship encompass all aspects of life, the good, the bad and the ugly – there is no other way.

For the kingdom.

We have a cat that lives in our house – Rookie. When I say we, I actually mean my wife and daughter have a cat; the cat has little affection for me and I for it. Rookie loves my wife Jan and follows her around like a lost puppy. When Jan isn’t around, it loves my daughter Madison, and will sleep in her room when she is working simply to be near her. When only I am at home that cat is nowhere to be found, unless it needs food, then it will rub my ankles until I give it food, after which it no longer has any use for me.

For years I have chosen to not have any responsibility for the cat and its well-being. Jan and Madison feed it, pet it, talk to it (the cat has 5 distinct meows, each with a different meaning) and, most importantly, clean out the litter box. Now the first three aspects are simple to take care of since it is often the cat that is initiating the response. However, cleaning the litter is not always that noticeable since the box is in the basement and unless you remember to go there, “out of sight, out of mind” kicks in.

For a long time I have simply chosen to “nag” about cleaning the litter box, at times successful, but I’m sure for the most part it has simply made my family more aloof to my comments.

A couple of months ago I asked myself the question I ask many people I come alongside (warning: be careful when you expect from yourself what you are asking of others), how is this related to my discipleship?

If you are around me often you know that I have a standard line: “It’s all about discipleship.” Many people roll their eyes at me when I say this but in reality, shouldn’t it be? When I’m riding my bike with friends and perhaps we encounter a tough hill, I’ll say that “it’s all about discipleship” so let’s tackle this hill. When my daughter has a touch assignment she’s working on and wants to give up, I’ll say “it’s all about discipleship” so step in and just do it.

So as I thought about the litter box and my less than stellar reactions in the past, I decided to make it about discipleship, MY discipleship, not theirs. As such, for the past while, every day I make it my responsibility to go to the basement, scoop up whatever needs scooping, and move on – 3 minutes tops. And each time I do this, I think to myself, “Matthew, this is all about discipleship, about commitment, about doing for others, about taking on what you could argue is really not your responsibility, about putting the towel around your waist and washing feet, the lowest of tasks. It’s all about discipleship.” As such, I have been pondering “cat litter discipleship” these days.

How do you see your life? Is it all about discipleship?

For the past few years, I have also chosen to make our bed. I know that I don’t do it as well as Jan does (how she gets all the wrinkles out I will never know, not my gift) and yet I do it. I partly do it to serve my wife, and that is an aspect of discipleship, but I’ve also chosen to use it to remind myself of God. In the beginning God formed the earth, he created beauty out of what might be referred to as chaos, the earth was formless and empty, and God brought order to it.

As followers of Jesus and as those that come alongside others, we are called to help people bring order out of the chaos of their lives, to guide them in to good spiritual disciplines that will help them have lives that are anchored no matter what storm this life might throw at them. And when I make our bed, I think of these things. It reminds me that I am to bring order out  of chaos, and by ordering the sheet, blanket and pillows on our bed, I set my day on a course that reminds me to bring order out of chaos – “your kingdom come, your will be done on earth, as it is in heaven” – it’s all about discipleship, even making the bed.

So, how do you see your life, your everyday life? Cat litter, making the bed, etc? Are these simply activities you go through, or can it be more? And as you lead others, how can you lead by example so they see that, in the end, “it’s all about discipleship”?

May that phrase resonate in your mind each day.

For the kingdom