Recently someone made a comment to my dad, “You’re a pastor, and your kids still like the church. How did you manage that?” My dad wasn’t sure how to respond so he asked me to blog about it – so here are my thoughts from someone who is 21.

It’s unfortunate that so many pastors kids (PK) don’t love the church (it actually boggles my mind since I love it so much) When people find out I’m a PK, the first question is always about if I like being a PK or not – which is a bit weird since if you were the child of an electrician or a teacher, my first question wouldn’t be if you like being their child of not. But because so many PKs have rebelled against their parents and the church, people become curious if I’m one of those statistics. Well I’m happy to announce that I’m not (and neither is my brother).

As I’ve reflected on this, I’ve realized a few things that my parents have done (whether intentional or not) that has kept my fire for my faith and my desire to see the church thrive.

1. Openness. My dad was always very open with us growing up, and still is. He would explain things that were going on in the church, and talk about how he was handling it and why. We got a very real, but also a very exciting picture of the church, and what the church can and needs to be. Because of this, I was able to hop on board to help be a part of that journey of becoming a thriving community of believers. I wanted to see the transformation that my dad talked about – I wanted it to be tangible in my life. I’ll be honest though, jumping into that journey may sound fun and idealistic (and it can be), but it is also messy and frustrating and hard. There have been many times I would release all my puzzling thoughts and feelings to my dad at Crabby Joe’s (the Eckert hang out), and he would calmly listen (at least from the outside he was calm) and then explain to me what could be happening beneath the surface – why people acted as they did, how I can appropriately respond, and what scripture tells us.
2. Who they are in public, is who they are in private. My parent’s faith is real. It is not just a show inside the church, it is active inside our home. My brother and I witnessed our parent’s having their personal quiet times, and listened to them talk about what they were learning. We were able to see with our own eyes the commitment it takes on a daily basis to grow closer with God. It wasn’t just talk – there was action. As the daughter of a pastor who sometimes gets the inside scoop, knowing that my dad’s faith in strong, and that he is constantly striving to live like Jesus, I have full confidence in his ability to lead a congregation. I am not ashamed to be his daughter, because he is not a fake, and therefore I don’t need to be a fake.
3. Opportunities galore. My favourite part of being a PK is that I get first dibbs on all sorts of crazy things – and some of those things come from my dad volunteering me to the front office staff to do some work (being a student still, I am able to do this – and it helps that the front office staff are fun to be with). I’ve been able to work with a lot of the pastors in their ministries, and try out different roles as well. Going on a bit of a tangent (I promise it will all make sense in a minute), I’m so glad to be out of the high school age. During that time, you are trying to figure out who you are, where you fit, and what your passions are. I had the amazing opportunity to figure out who I was in the walls of the church. I was constantly surrounded by people who loved me, and would speak loving truth to me to keep me on track. I was also never allowed to be bored since there was always work that needed to be done somewhere. Not many teens gets this chance, but seriously, for all the high school students reading this, I highly recommend getting involved in the church and surrounding yourself with people who will love you through the mess of teenage years.
4. Never forced. I have read about situations where PKs leave the church because their parent’s demanded them to be involved in all sorts of activities and things they didn’t want to do. So on one hand, PKs have all these opportunities at their fingertips, but on the other hand, if it’s forced, it’s not fun. In our family there was always gentle, yet firm encouragement to get involved and build relationships with people, but ultimately, if we didn’t find joy in doing something at all, we didn’t have to do it. And when we were involved in places, our parents didn’t stand over us and watch our every move – and they didn’t ask our small group leaders for updates on our personal lives (at least I don’t believe they did). They let us grow and develop and figure out who God created us to be – not who they wanted us to be.
5. Our church is awesome. As much as I love being a PK, I wouldn’t love it as much without a church community that is hands down amazing! The relationships I have with people in the church are far better than I could’ve ever imagined. As the saying goes, it takes a village to raise a child. Well my parents had a massive village to help raise my brother and me. The people there have helped shape me into who I am today, and walking with them through this journey of life is a blast. So North Parkers, thanks for being awesome – let’s continue to be awesome for the generations to come!

Looking back over those points, I realized that these are things that shouldn’t be special for PKs. They should be things that all kids experience. Sure, I have more of an ‘in’, but I know plenty of people at our church who aren’t blood related to any of the pastors, yet they have made it a priority to be a part of the church family and to step up and lead (leading doesn’t mean just in the front) – and when that happens, the church will thrive, and when the church thrives, the world changes.

Here are some thoughts from my daughter as she continues to work through the discipline of consistency.

———————————————————–

Consistency. Yes, we all know this is something I haven’t been good at when it comes to blog writing, but some of you have challenged me to get back at it – so here I am. Besides my lack of consistency of writing, consistency is something that is very important to me, and something I strive to achieve. And for some, hearing the word “consistent” may trigger the word “routine” or “boredom”. I can assure you, it goes much deeper than that.

For the last year and a half, I have coordinated an after school program in a lower income neighbourhood in London, and it has stretched me in ways I didn’t know I could stretch. I am there twice a week with the kids, and we do lots of things together – this month we’ve been looking at famous artists and have been re-creating their artwork. These kids have amazing imaginations and art abilities! What I have noticed though, is that the longer I am there, the greater the impact. Consistency is not easy, but here are three things that I have learned about its importance.

First, it builds trust. Trust is not an easy thing, especially with children and adults who have not had a lot of success with trusting others. With that in mind, I knew going into this that I would have to commit a large portion of my time to this neighbourhood, and almost two years later, trust is finally building. The kids trust that what I say is true (praise is not something many of them hear often), and more importantly, they trust that I’m not going anywhere. They can let their guard down (sometimes not a fun thing for me to deal with), and understand that I will love them unconditionally. It also moves beyond the kids – the parents have begun to trust me, and some have opened up about deep issues. Gaining complete trust is a very slow process, but consistency will get you there.

Second, long term impact. A while ago I sat down with a lady who lived in the neighbourhood when she was a child. She grew up in a house where domestic violence was the norm, and as the oldest child, she had to care for her 3 younger siblings. Living in that environment led to disastrous teenage/young adult years. When she hit rock bottom, she went back to church. Why? Because the only thing consistent in her life as a child was the church bus. In the midst of the unpredictable and inconsistent, she always counted on the bus to come on Sunday morning. This story is what keeps me focused during those times I think, “Is what I’m doing actually helpful?” In the midst of the chaos, the kids can guarantee that we will be there Tuesdays and Thursdays right after school with arms open wide for a hug. My prayer is that this is what will keep them on the right track, or bring them back if they do end up hitting rock bottom.

Finally, I’ve learned about tough seasons. I would be lying if I said I jump for joy every week about going to see the kids. There are times where I just don’t want to go, or times where I don’t want to plan, or times where I don’t think anything is working. It’s during those times that the first thing that comes to mind is that I should quit. I would say it’s during these seasons that people can quickly fall into the trap of, “I don’t find joy doing it, so it must be God telling me to step back.” Nobody could tell me that God would want me to step back from caring for His children. It’s in those tough seasons where I have to think beyond myself – really, it’s never about me – and trust that God is still working through me even when my heart isn’t in it. I simply have to blindly obey.

Consistency. Its importance stretches beyond the kids in my after school program – it can be applied to all areas of life – including my role in leading other girls in a triad. Week in. Week out. Consistent.

1 Corinthians 15:58 says, “Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labour in the Lord is not in vain.”

Madison