Madison’s Question to Matthew: How have you experienced God?

I love this question, it has so many angles to approach it from. It can be interpreted in different ways, on different tangents.

I grew up in a context where this type of conversation would not take place. Experience means emotions, emotions mean things that can’t be trusted. Experiencing God was what the charismatic Christians did and they really didn’t know God the way that we did. We knew God practically, from studying the bible, academically – the facts, just the facts.

As such, we may have talked about God being personal, but in reality, he wasn’t, he was understood as you would understand a character in any book.

I appreciate how the Catholic church seeks to understand God – a combination of the Bible, the Holy Spirit, and community dialogue. My experience in the Protestant church is that different denominations lean to one of the three – all bible, or all Spirit, or all conversation as to what everyone is feeling about a certain topic. Yet there is something beautiful about the tension of all three aspects to gain clarity.

All that being said, how have I experienced God?

First, I experience God through Scripture. The best way that I can describe this is that there are times when a phrase of the Bible seems to rise off the page and change my thinking in an instant. Yes, I often engage scripture through classic study methods and academically I gain insight, and I appreciate this. But consistently I can say that it connects with me like a living organism, an “experience” that I can only explain as God showing up. It could be a verse that I have read many times, perhaps even memorized, and while I have appreciated it over the years, at this particular moment it’s impact shifts to a relational conversation and God speaks. Can’t be explained, only experienced.

I have experienced God through conversations. I can recall moments with friends, perhaps sitting at a restaurant having a beverage, and the conversation seems to take off in a God-focused direction with amazing insight being expressed from everyone at the table. Time seems to stand still, napkin drawings are made as we delve into some amazing insight about God and perhaps what he is calling us to. I have left those times and can only explain them as God showing up. In fact, we’ll reference those conversations for years after. Something beautiful happened, we experienced God.

And yet, when the question about experiencing God comes up, what we are typically looking for are those large experiential moments, almost too exciting and too scary all at the same time. You want them and yet you would almost like to avoid them. So often in Scripture, when someone encounters God, or an angel of God shows up, their immediate response is to fall physically to the ground in fear and confusion. To experience the presence of God is not something to be taken lightly.

Allow me to share a few stories in my life where God showed up in an experiential way.

Years ago, money was tight. I was commuting in our car for 1.5 hours each way to work. It was winter and on my way home the night before I discovered that our windshield wiper fluid was at the end, only dribbling out. I didn’t even want to spend the $3 for a bottle. As I went to work the next day and was almost at the highway I had one final gas station to stop at to get fluid. I heard God say to me, “Don’t worry, I’ve got this. You’ll have enough for today. Trust me.” I drove by the station, onto the highway for my drive to work, and then back again at the end of the day. It was a day that required window cleaning all the way there and back home again. I never ran out. And as I exited the highway on the way home, I immediately ran out, the tank was dry. God reminded me right there – I can take care of you, keep moving forward, do not fear.

I was at a camp with one of our children for a weekend. There were a lot of activities for the kids so I had chunks of free time. One evening I was praying for my family, and my children in particular. All of a sudden I started crying uncontrollably. I am not one who cries often. Yet here, in the presence of God, praying to him on behalf of my children, he entered that moment in a unique way, took control of my emotional state. He encouraged me in my parenting, to stay connected and engaged, he would walk with Jan and me on this journey.

I had left my job in banking and was wondering what to do next. I was working part-time for a friend but knew that this wasn’t the long-term step for me. 6 months into this new season I experienced a week of deep inner stress and couldn’t explain it. I called 4 friends who I had been connecting with and asked them to pray for me. Within one hour of speaking with them, the stress was gone, I had a deep sense of peace. And then, in a voice that was almost too loud to be audible, God said, “Go to seminary.” I can’t explain it, but it was clear. I had experienced God. And as they say, “the rest is history.”

How can I explain these moments? I can’t. They occur when I am least expecting them. I haven’t tried to coerce God to speak to me, he just did. To encourage me, to coach me, to direct me.

Honestly, I don’t seek to experience God. Perhaps it is because of my training growing up. Perhaps it is because I have seen to many people force God experiences that appear so fake to me. Perhaps it is because I feel too inadequate to ask the God of the universe to show up when I want him to show up and in ways that I want him to.

I am grateful for the times when he chooses to engage me in such supernatural ways. And I pray that I will be ready to experience him in the future in any way that he chooses.

For the kingdom.

Matthew’s Question to Madison: What aspects of your leadership are you pondering the most these days?

One of my co-workers has a couch in his office, and it’s the best! A few weeks ago, I kicked my feet up and settled into the couch, and we talked about the concept of development. “My goal is to read a book a week,” he said. Um, excuse me? How do you manage that? His bookshelf is lined with books from all sorts of genres – faith, leadership, culture, sports, and youth just to name a few.

In the last two months, I’ve successfully read 1.5 books from his shelf, with another two on the go. That’s 1.5 books in about 8 weeks, and he’s probably already read 8 books. I have a long way to go!

This is not a blog about comparison, and it can’t be because he’s been renewing this goal for the past few years, so he’s more of a pro – I also just go through phases of loving reading and caring less for it.

But the point is that he cares a lot about development. He wants to keep learning and growing.

In the blog post last week, dad talked about the book Deep Mentoring (I haven’t read it yet), and the 4 phases through life. I’m in phase 2 – the preparation phase. These next few decades of my life will be all about development, which will include trying things to find where I’m at my best, having a variety of experiences that will stretch my character, and pursuing my faith in Christ to ensure the roots are going deeper and deeper.

My birthday was in May, and in the card I received from my boss, he made a comment about how, yes, there’s was lots to accomplish, but he’s more concerned about my own personal development.

It’s no wonder that this is the aspect of my leadership I’ve been thinking a lot about – everyone around me keeps talking about it!

Development goes two ways, and I’ve been thinking about both. First, what things do I need to do to make sure I’m always growing and learning and developing? And second, how do I lead others through development?

To answer the first question, I can only share what I’ve been doing during this season. I know it’s bound to change at some point, but here are a few things:

• My co-worker who reads a lot has inspired me to read more
• Listening to more podcasts (Ex. Carey Nieuwhof, Village Church, Ted Talks, Hidden Brain)
• Creating more time in the morning for a solid start to the day, and the routine includes working out, making a solid breakfast, and sitting on the deck to read and write and reflect and pray (and watch the construction trucks start their day)
• Having a daily check in with myself to see where I’m at – Am I feeling drained? When was the last time I just hung out with a friend(s)? Is there something I need to readjust going forward? Is there something that’s giving me lots of energy?

So far these things have been going pretty strong for the last month or two, and I notice I’m more mentally prepared and alive. More than just mentally, though – physically, emotionally, and spiritually as well.

I’m also noticing how these pieces of furthering my own development are greatly beneficial for my leadership. Which brings us to the second component – developing others.

Each summer, three post-secondary students are hired to run our community summer day camps, and I’ve had the privilege of overseeing their work for the past couple of summers. This summer we included a ‘team development’ component. For an hour or two a week, the four of us sit together and watch a talk (ranging in topics and speakers), and then we chat about it – what stood out for us, how we can apply it our personal lives and to the summer.

Some of the best and most honest conversations happen around the table during that time.

Those conversations have been critical for me to understand each of them better – what do they require so that they can work at their best? What do I need to do to ensure they get that?

So part of my development is learning to develop others.

A group of us are journeying towards a church plant beginning in September, and we’re putting heavy emphasis on raising up leaders in the church right from the start. I oversee the youth ministry, and I’ve been contemplating what it looks like to run a youth ministry that links fun, faith, and leadership together. I don’t have the answers yet, considering the youth ministry hasn’t officially started, but I do have ideas whirling in my mind as to what this could look like.

Tied in with this is training my brain to spot people’s strengths, and considering how they could be involved in advancing the Kingdom. Unfortunately, this doesn’t always come naturally for me, but recognizing it is the first step, right? But I know that a person who is more willing to put others down to raise themself up is no leader at all. I strive to be a leader that pulls at people’s strengths, and recognizes the potential in them – and when I see potential in youth particularly, I want to join in their journey of development, and encourage and challenge them along the way.

But it starts with my own development first. And it flows out from there.