Madison’s question to Matthew: Talk to your generation. With your passion for discipleship, explain to them why you think it is important for them to be disciplers? Give them an inspiring story.

Is there any topic that Madison could have given me that evokes more emotion and conviction than that of discipleship? In reality, I have been engaged in intentional discipleship since my early 20’s. Additionally, my doctoral thesis was centred on the beauty of this.

I recognize that different people may define what being a disciple is differently, and perhaps many people simply don’t even think about this term – most people would simply say that they are a Christian. I would argue that not all Christians are disciples.

To quote Greg Ogden – “Discipling is an intentional relationship in which we walk alongside other disciples in order to encourage, equip and challenge one another in love to grow toward maturity in Christ. This includes equipping the disciple to teach others as well.” (Transforming Discipleship, 2003, pg 129)

There is something very intentional about the life of a disciple of Jesus. He/she has a desire to grow personally to be more like Jesus and to guide others on that journey as well. Additionally, we can not confuse a simple bible study with discipleship. When I speak of discipleship, I am always looking at in a holistic way. This is a view of discipleship that doesn’t segment spiritual disciplines but connects them. It’s not about having a bible study with one group, attending a prayer meeting with another group and perhaps serving at the mission with a third group. It is an integration of them all while walking alongside a younger disciple (not necessarily in age but in spiritual maturity).

Assuming that my understanding of discipleship is accurate, why is it that many people who would say that they are a Christian are not engaged in the journey of being a disciple of Jesus? Maybe just me saying that has stirred harsh emotions in you? Perhaps a longer conversation over coffee is a next step for us.

Over the years I have spoken with many people about this. I have asked individuals who are my age if they would be willing to come alongside another individual and be one who would be a “senior disciple” to guide a “junior disciple”. For the most part I get a “no”. They don’t believe that they will have the time, or they don’t believe that they would know what to do, or that they aren’t qualified to build into someone else in this way.

Over the years my response (mostly internal) has varied. Initially I was extremely frustrated at their replies. I would often judge them for not even wanting to try, assuming that they weren’t serious about their faith. Eventually I moved to a point of giving up, of neutrality. I stopped asking, assuming that anyone I asked would say no so I didn’t want to bother with the conversations anymore.

More recently I have moved to a response of sadness. That they are missing out on one of the most amazing things we can be a part of. The joy of coming alongside someone, to step into their story, to speak about faith in God, to answer questions they have, to learn from the insight they provide, to ask them questions so that I can grow in my faith.

Andy Stanley, founding pastor of North Point Community Church in Georgia, has an amazing phrase that should help to put anyone at ease if they believe that they have nothing to offer another person. He states, “It isn’t my job to fill someone else’s cup. It is simply my job to empty my cup.”

I won’t have all the answers on how to pray, but I’ll show you what I know. I don’t know how to serve the marginalized in the most effective way, but let’s do it together and I’ll model what I have learned so far. I don’t fully understand this particular scripture, but here is how it has impacted me and what I believe it means – what do you think?

What younger followers of Jesus are looking for is someone who will care about them and guide them to draw closer to Jesus. And then, after awhile, as the bird’s parents push the young one’s out of the nest, I must push those I am walking alongside to step out and build into someone else’s life as I did for them. It’s as simple as that.

No here’s the reality – I believe that I have only been 50% successful, as I would define success in the discipleship process. Of all the guys I have walked alongside over the past 30 years, I believe that only about one half have chosen to step into the journey and come alongside someone else. The rest have said “thanks for the memories” and moved on to the rest of their life. How tragic, how sad, to miss out on the opportunity to be a part of someone’s faith journey. And yet, when I do see someone move ahead to engage with others, what an amazing story it becomes.

I’ve seen guys that I’ve built into go on to build into other guys who have then gone on to build into other guys who have gone on to build into other guys. As such, I’m a great grandfather of faith to guys who may not even know how the journey progressed to them.

People have often said to, “You’re a pastor, you’re paid to do this, I just don’t have the time.” In reality, I was doing this during my 12 year banking career when I commuted almost 4 hours each day to Toronto and back. I fully understand the pressures of work life and marriage and young children. The reality is, we will find time for whatever we believe is important.

For me, living the life of a disciple of Jesus, holistically and alongside others, is something that is part of my DNA, and it is my desire that others would also embrace this, particularly those in my current generation who have raised their kids. The younger generation is asking for spiritual guides, I hear it all the time. The question is – will you choose to empty your cup in to someone’s else’s life?

For the kingdom.