Matthew’s question for Madison: What are your thoughts on solitude?

The exact definition of solitude, according to Google, is the state of being alone.

Well, I admit it – I’m writing this at Starbucks. And there’s a lot of buzz going on around me.

So that establishes pretty quickly what my general thoughts on solitude are. I don’t do it well, nor do I enjoy it.

I have wondered why solitude has always been a spiritual discipline that I’ve struggled with. Maybe it’s because I’m an extravert and am way more motivated when I’m around others. But I am often wary of using that as an excuse to not engage with something Jesus modeled. After all, God can overthrow any of my temperaments.

So I began thinking of another potential reason, and I came up with the fact that I’m a millennial. Yet again, I don’t use this as an excuse, but rather an idea that peaks my interest (it brings me back to my sociology and psychology classes – and I have very fond memories). Millennial’s are the first generation to have technology literally at their fingertips. We have multiple social media profiles and more ‘friends’ than anyone could dream of having. When we’re bored, we don’t have to even think about what to do – just pick up the phone and scroll. There’s a neuron in our brains called the ‘stop neuron’. This neuron fires when we finish an activity, letting us know it’s time to move on and find the next thing. So when you finish a run for example, the stop neuron recognizes that you’ve completed the task, let’s the rest of your brain know, and then the next step commences. On your phone, scrolling through your newsfeed, the stop neuron doesn’t fire – there’s no end. (Though I’m now thankful for Instagram’s “You’re all caught up” since it actually makes me stop).

So we have a perceived endless amount of friends, and picture perfect profiles yet we’re the loneliest generation out there. Research shows people can spend multiple hours a day just scrolling through social media because there’s nothing better to do – and there’s a fear of missing something. I’ve grown up in a generational culture of FOMO, and a constant connectedness – and have felt the loneliness that comes with it all. And with that loneliness comes a craving for true human connection.

In solitude, by definition, there is no human connection for a time.

The other component of the culture that I’ve grown up in is busyness. I wonder if it’s the effect of living in a lonely world? You always need to be doing something or seeing someone or trying something new. Admittedly, my personality quite enjoys the rush – but a little over a year ago I learned the hard way that God designed our bodies to be limited.

Jesus understood the importance of solitude. Let’s look at Matthew 14 for an example. Jesus just spent a very long time teaching the crowds, and then worked a miracle by feeding all five thousand of them. When it was all said and done, Jesus was with His disciples – which was probably no where near peace and quiet. He sent them take the boat across the lake while He took the mountain route to have some time alone. Verse 23 says, “After he dismissed them, He went up on the mountainside by Himself to pray”.

He spent a full day giving of Himself and knew that the only way He’d recharge was to be with His Father – not netflix or a nap (or their cultural alternative). And I’m definitely guilty of this so in no way am I pointing fingers.

As Christ followers, Jesus is our example to follow. Solitude was important for Him to reconnect with the Creator, so it raises up the fact that it should be important for us to imitate.

I learned more about the importance of solitude while attending a Bible school in Germany this past year than I ever have living in the hustle and bustle of the day to day tasks. Sure, the time I had there was more like living in a bubble, but it was critical for me on so many levels for that season of life. My first month there I experienced a depth of loneliness I’ve never felt before – I had no family, no friends, no familiar environment, and basically no wifi. It was literally just God and I. I spent a lot of time reading and journaling and walking in solitude. I felt more in tune with God then I had ever experienced before. Every day it was, “Okay God, it’s you and I. What are we going to do?” And we’d spend time together.

Now that I’ve been home for four months, the day to day work has kicked back in and I find it much harder to actively engage with solitude. Daily devotions are still very important to me, but beyond that, I find time of being alone incredibly draining and exhausting. And I know I’m not the only one. There are so many factors at play as to why I dislike it currently, but maybe God wanted to remind me that solitude is okay through the writing of this blog – and remind me of how Jesus’ example is one that I need to follow and obey – not because of legalism, but because of importance.