Matthew’s Question to Madison: How has praying changed for you the past 2 years?

“In meditation we should not look for a ‘method’ or a ‘system’, but cultivate an ‘attitude’ or an ‘outlook’” (Thomas Merton)

Prayer is something that has never come naturally to me, but it’s something the Church puts an emphasis on, so I’ve always known that there was an importance to it – I just didn’t know why. I tried different formulas – for example, P.R.A.Y, or J.O.Y, or praying through the Lord’s Prayer. I’d start out strong with a method, and then after a week or two it would become boring, and I’d be back to square one. And then I’d get frustrated that I was never praying the right way, so I often opted to not ever pray – why do something you know you’re going to fail at anyway?

I became so focused on the ‘how’ of prayer, and forget about the ‘why’.

Over the last while, I’ve focused less on the how and less on the structured time of prayer, and more on the all-day communication. I’m in no way downplaying structured time of prayer – some of those times are when I’m most reflective and thankful towards my Heavenly Father. BUT, for me, I can get so caught up in the routine and carving out a specific time for things (though important), that it becomes a strict start and end time.

The ‘why’ of prayer boils down to relationship.

I think of the people in my life that I have relationships with. There’s intentional time to go for walks and coffee dates, that’s for sure. Then there are spontaneous texts throughout the days, and phone calls to catch up, or simple notes of encouragement, or reminding each other of funny moments that have brought us closer.

Relationships are so often not logical, and so not systematic. And I like it that way.

So why try to create a logical relationship with the One who created me? There’s definitely no logic in that!

My prayer life has now expanded to car rides, and walks, and sitting in the office, and before meetings, and in meetings, and on and on. I find it too difficult to remind myself of all the things I want to pray for during my daily devotional time, so I just pray about it right then and there – especially when someone asks me to pray for them.

Now, it may sound like I have this whole ‘praying without ceasing’ down perfectly. That is false! I’m still learning. The other day, I realized I had made a big decision about something before praying about it. I was in the resource room at work, and as I was cutting paper, I immediately repented.

So in no way is it perfectly natural yet. But I have found that having the freedom to communicate with my Heavenly Father all day, and not just during a structured time, has changed everything. I feel more in tune with God and connected to Him throughout the entire day.

Let’s tie it back to earthly relationships again. I find conversations with people most productive and meaningful when we have life stories to talk about together. Imagine sitting with someone at a coffee shop, having done nothing previously – you’d have nothing to talk about. I feel closest to God, and like we have more productive and meaningful conversations as life unfolds – there’s so much to talk about!

As Thomas Merton said, “Meditation has no point unless it’s rooted in life.”

In closing, I’d like to share a few phrases that I’ve found myself continually praying through.

1.“Give me eyes to see what You see”

I like starting off my day asking God to give me His eyes. I want to know how He sees people; how He views situations; how He would interpret actions. My eyes are so faulty. For example, I’m prone to seeing people for their weaknesses, and I know how damaging that can be – for my own perspective, but also in how I treat them. I want to be able to have an eye transplant and see people for who God says they are, not who I think they are.

2.“Be my guide”

There have been days where I would pray that God would be my guide, and He would take me places I never thought possible. It sounds profound, but it could be as simple as running into someone I know at the store or having a friend randomly call me up to go out for coffee, or having a stellar interaction with a child at one of the programs I run. I never want to miss out on an opportunity for a conversation or having some good ole quality time with someone, so I love when God guides people together.

The other way to take this one is to ask God to be the guide through specific situations where I know I can’t deal with it on my own strength and knowledge. And then I just trust that He will guide my thoughts and actions so that they will line up with what He wants.

3. Psalm 23:5

This has become my verse for this year, and it says, “You prepare a table for me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” I’m pretty good at catching myself in moments of weakness of looking at the enemies around my table. I immediately think back to this verse and pray through it – and thank God for the freedom I have from sitting at His table.

These are a few things I’ve learned over the last two years in regards to prayer – and it’s a topic I hope to never stop learning in since there is so much to learn about the One we pray to.