“We weren’t aloof with you. We took you just as you were. We were never patronizing, never condescending, but we cared for you the way a mother cares for her children. We loved you dearly. Not content to just pass on the Message, we wanted to give you our hearts. And we did.” 1 Thessalonians 2:7-8
If there is one thing that separates a mediocre discipling experience from a life changing one, it is love from the leader. That’s you. You must fully embrace those that you are leading. You need to pour out your life into theirs with a love that goes far beyond any feeling or emotion. You must love those you lead when they energize you and when they frustrate you, when they take initiative and when they don’t want to even show up, let alone complete any assignment you have given. You need to love them when they ask questions that you think are meaningless and simply a distraction. You must love them so much that you can’t wait to see them again just to hear about their day, the little things and the big. You must love them so that you pray for them as though praying for your own children.
“He had loved his disciples during his ministry on earth, and now he loved them to the very end…. Then he began to wash the disciples’ feet…” John 13 These words from the Gospel of John always cut me to the core. Interestingly, during this foot washing episode the disciples still didn’t understand what was happening, yet Jesus continued on. I often wonder how frustrated Jesus was with his disciples.
The journey of discipleship is so much more than a program you take someone through, it is more than a linear process full of activities that get checked off. Discipleship is you. It is you giving yourself to someone else. It will keep you up at night when you don’t believe that those you are building into really want to commit, to “deny themselves and take up their cross.” You will feel the pain when their relational world is in turmoil and they question everything.
It is also exuberance when the “light turns on” and the scriptures come alive to them. It is gratitude for having been able to share the deepest aspects of life together knowing that it is a safe place for all of you.
Let’s agree with John. “Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before. Yet it is also new. Jesus lived the truth of this commandment, and you also are living it.” (1 John 2:7-8)
Love those that you lead. There really is no other way.